Posts Tagged ‘funny’
White Trash Cake Pops
For Christmas I got a cake pop maker. I was pretty excited. I am not crafty whatsoever, but that does not stop me from trying every once in awhile. I usually wait for about the time it takes to make me forget how awful I was at the last craft I tried. Kind of like how we all forget how painful childbirth is and have more kids.
So when I unwrapped this cake pop maker I envisioned beautiful delectable master pieces. Ones that people would ooh and awe at and think I am marvelous and amazing. What actually happened was the complete opposite which was definitely to be expected with me being in charge.
I wanted to make these with my girls for New Years. Shout and I went to the store to get the supplies at about 6:00 pm. There was no way I was going to go to that huge grocery store that we all know the name of on New Years Eve so we went to a tiny local one. The options were pretty slim and we ended up with chocolate chips to melt, some crushed almonds, one can of white frosting, flower sprinkles and two different flavored cake mixes. I knew at home that I had some old oreos that perhaps were still edible that we could crush, then I later found in the cupboard some even older reeses pieces. Is anyones mouth watering yet? Also sucker sticks were no where in site at the small store. No problem we would cut shish kebab sticks in half. Perfect! I read that to do this properly you needed styrofoam to stick the completed pops in. luckily I found some in a package we received in the mail. Again totally perfect.
I set up all the toppings up and thought I was pretty gosh darn clever for using food coloring to make 2 additional colors, orange and pink. It looked all pretty and my kids were bursting with excitement. I have got to say. I loved doing this with them. It was the best way to ring in the new year. It really did not matter that they did not turn out picture perfect and that they did not stay at the top of the sticks and were a pretty gooey mess. They were unique just like each one of my kids, who had a fantastic time making them.
We will be doing this again and again and not changing a thing, well maybe leaving out the stale oreos and old reeses peeses. Here is a picture of our completed white trash cake pops in all of there imperfect glory.
I may not be Martha Stewart or Bakerella but sometimes I think it is better to be Living The Scream.
My Bootleg Santa Picture
Yesterday was the last day of school and work for my kiddos and the husband. So we decided to celebrate afterwards with that dreaded visit to the mall Santa. We got to the mall and decided we needed some some sustenance before tackling the Big Guy so we went to the food court to eat. Chick Fil a was the winner (It always is) and the prize in the kids meal was watches with cow faces. The kids were thrilled.
After dinner we got up and walked to the other side of the mall to see glorious Santa. The line was pretty long but we really did not mind and stood in it right away. It was about 5:00 and it was moving slowly but steady. About a minute later one of Santa’s helpers walked around the line to tell everyone some info. First of all Santa would be taking a 30 minute break in exactly 30 minutes. My oldest promptly looked at her brand new cow watch and started counting down the minutes in a worried state knowing we were cutting it very close. The second bit of news the employee told us was that there was absolutely no outside photo’s to be taken, phone cameras included. I was a little shocked. I had always been able to take a photo here before. The Employee then handed us a price list for photo’s. The cheapest option was 22 dollars!!! For that you received a 5 x 7 and two 3 x 5′s There was no way I would ever pay that much for photo’s that were printed off of a printer using a camera exactly like the one I had around my neck!
I am usually a rule follower I really am but seriously? With the way they were acting about it they were begging for people to break the rules. My mind started turning. How can I get a picture? My plan ended up consisting of putting my daughters coat strategically over the button and the light without covering the lens of the camera as it lay around my neck.
I began practicing. This was pretty scandalous of me, don’t you think? The line was still moving slowly and Shriek our time monitor was yelling out every minute that the time was getting closer to Santa’s break. No way did we want to wait an extra 30 minutes for Santa to use the restroom.
I had shown Brandon my test shots and asked him if he thought my devious plan would work. He admitted I was getting pretty good at it. I was going to go through with it.
It was 5:28 we were second to next in line. The high school age employee fake smiled at us and said “it’s a maybe, don’t get your hopes up too high.” She also reminded us again and again of the no photo rule.
As the little gate opened for our turn to meet Santa I saw him start to slowly get up. NO! I yelled Surprised at the volume of my voice. I had heard the girl employee refer to her manager as *Brian. I immediately used that to my advantage.
“Brian!” I said like he was my long lost cousin. “Please let us see Santa. We don’t need pictures taken. We will be one moment. Please Brian please!”
(Who was I turning into? I was losing it for sure. Santa noticed me and motioned for my girls to come forward)
Santa was sweet and kind and understood that we did not want to wait for his potty break to be over to see him and that we would be super quick. My girls all got on his lap so cute and no tears. Shriek was in the middle of telling Santa she wanted a skateboard when I got up the nerve to push the button on my camera under Shout’s coat. I only dared to click once and could not wait to see what I had captured. You would of thought I was doing something a lot worse. Like I said I really am a rule follower and this was very nerve wracking for me!
A few steps outside of Santa’s quarters I smiled at Brandon and grabbed my camera to look at the photo. Here it is.
Serves me right huh? Completely blurry.
Who knows what kind of therapy my kids will have to go through when I am done with them. All because of a mothers love, and unwillingness to pay for over priced photo’s.
Have you ever done something scandalous and silly like this? I would Love to know!
*Name has been changed to protect the innocent.
Mirror Mirror On the TV Stand
My 5 year old Shout is a pretty creative little girl. She is filled with personality and knows how to get you to smile in about point five seconds.
Weather it is the way she says magazine (Mazagine) The way she tackles you for a hug or even when she is being super sassy she always makes me laugh.
The umpire and I often say that the way Shout talks is as if she has rehearsed it a million times with facial expressions and just the right voice inflections to make you grin. She is a hoot and has lots of diva like qualities.
We live in a pretty small Condo it has bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs and everything else on the main level. We spend the majority of our time on the main level and it can be quite a chore to go upstairs for something. Yes, we may be a tad lazy.
I do all three of my daughters hair downstairs while my girls watch TV and where there is no mirror. When I am done doing Shouts hair Rather than run upstairs to see if she likes it. She promptly will say. I”ll just look in the TV mirror. She’ll quickly turn off the t.v and behold a magic mirror!
Have you ever tried this? it actually works pretty well. I mean if you don’t want to go upstairs and you don’t mind barely seeing yourself.
This is me illustrating Shouts adorable point with a big cheesy grin while I am listening to my dance cleaning music.
What do your kids do that crack you up? Also don’t you think the world would be an incredibly boring place without kid’s?
Humerous Poems for Kids
*Photo: Creative commons Flickr
You know that saying it’s never to early to teach your kids a classic, but slightly irreverent poem or saying? Yeah neither do, I but apparently the umpire lives by those words of wisdom and taught our girls the entire Bean’s Bean’s limerick during dinner the other day. I now am pretty sure It will be ingrained in their brains for a lifetime and will never be able to be undone.
Ironically it was all brought on by us having baked beans for dinner, go figure. which I assure you will never happen again.
Now I know you are probably aware of what humorous poem for kids I am talking about but I will still type it out for good measure
“Beans Beans the Magical fruit the more you eat the more you toot the more you toot the better you feel so lets have beans for every meal”
I was very thankful Wikipedia has a whole page dedicated to this poem so I could get it just right. That website never disappoints.
Never have I seen my girls so entertained, their snickers and giggles could not be overcome as they continued to sing “The bean” poem in every style possible. there was Country, Reggae, Rap, and my favorite the Christmas rendition where the poem was sang to the tune of Jingle Bells. Too bad I did not get out my camera we would have had a Viral you tube sensation for sure.
The moral of this story is do not invite my family over to dinner at your house if you are serving beans.
What funny poems or saying do your kid’s love to repeat over and over again?
Snails
It is about as hot as it can get in our condo. The poor little AC just cannot keep up. I really hate the heat and how unproductive it makes me. Because we are so hot the Screamette’s and I find ourselves outside quite abit.
There is a whole slew of kids that my girls love to play with. Although the playground kitty corner from our place is pretty ghetto they find plenty to entertain themselves. At the moment it is Snails. Those nasty slimy gooey gross creatures. The ones that make that horrible crrrunch noise when accidently stepped upon.
My girls can’t get enough of them and are often found hovered around a bunch having very interesting conversations about all things snails. I don’t understand. I have all girls aren’t they supposed to be disgusted and horrified by all things nasty?
The size of the snail is very imprtant to my daughter’s. If it is a large snail I often here them calling it a mommy or Daddy snail if the snails are a tad smaller the terms are teenager snails and baby snails.
Recently after one of there snail pow wow sessions. they came running at me in full speed. “MOM we just watched snails have babies. They mated and then had three babies right before our eyes.” They then preceded to open their little cute hands and show me these tiny nasty baby snail like things.
Now truth be told I know nothing about snails. I am not about to google it either. I don’t know exactly what my girls saw but whatever it was it was incredibly exciting. As I am trying to process this information These questions come to mind.
Can I actually skip “The Talk” With my girls because they just witnessed snails giving birth?
Why are snails so much nastier in a group than when you just see one?
Is the process of just simply washing your hands enough to get a whole days worth of snail germs off of your hands?
Why can’t this snail phase be over?
Here are the snail hunters in action. Yes Squeal is wearing underwear on the outside of her pajama’s. That must be her official snail hunting attire.
What crazy things have your kid’s been obsessed with? I would love to know!
